The switch from dating to relationship
One of the reasons I hear from my clients that makes it hard for certain people to to leave an abusive relationship, is that they are not fully sure in their own minds if the partner is abusive them intentionally.A commitment like a marriage or a partner agreement had two sides to it.So, whether or not they are aware that their behavior is abusive…this person is abusive to you, then you do not need to feel obligated to stay in the relationship, or to be “a good person” by putting up with a miserable relationship.It is a bait and switch if the person has intentionally mislead you.I would keep track of how many hours he was away and would share how hard it was for me to trust him.
They had no intention of fulfilling any promises they made you.then truly they are probably fully aware that they manipulated you into falling for them by pretending to be someone they are not.But if they acted like a selfless, caring person until they entrapped you, and then changed their behavior in a dramatic way after that…and they are not aware that they did that…then this is a disordered person that you cannot change, and you will not be able to have a loving relationship with.Our conversations and my fears would bring things up for him, as well—emotions and fears from his past and how he felt controlled and supressed by me now.I now believe that the ideal relationship doesn’t always feel comfortable, but you always feel comfortable and safe sharing with your partner, no matter how long you’ve been together.
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I knew I was going to learn a lot from this beautiful soul, but I didn’t expect the anxiety that came up within me once things began to get serious.