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Whether you yourself are new to non-monogamous relationships, getting involved with someone who is new, or just ready for a refresher course, here are seven common myths about non-monogamous relationships and the facts that disprove them.A quick online search yields many a claim that cheating was, in fact, a type of a non-monogamous relationship.In other words, when my partner is out on a date and I am at home with the cat, rather than stomping around in a jealous rage or torturing myself with what-if-he-leaves-me-for-her thoughts, I would aim to acknowledge my jealous pang as a normal feeling, but remind myself that my partner loves me, that they aren’t leaving, and to be happy that they’re enjoying themselves tonight and to enjoy my alone time with the cat. In comparison with monogamy, in fact, it forces a kind of work on trust that monogamous relationships bypass via the terms of monogamy.
Do you wait two weeks and risk the fizzle, or talk to your partner about making an exception?
Make no mistake - just because a relationship is non-monogamous does not mean that cheating is impossible.
If a couple agrees to threesomes only but one partner makes out with a stranger in a bar? Four parties in a group relationship agree not to involve new partners before getting tested, but then someone does the deed prematurely? Non-monogamy is not something that takes place in dark corners and on password protected apps without the knowledge and consent of all parties involved. Another idea that’s floating around out there is that non-monogamous relationships are becoming so popular in our monogamy dominated society because monogamy is this challenging thing that takes time, dedication and hard work, whereas non-monogamy is…well…easy.
As do monogamous relationships, non-monogamous relationships require mutual trust and respect, while cheating undermines trust, respect and consent. On the contrary, non-monogamy can be just as challenging as monogamy is, if not more so at times, as it introduces challenges into relationships that monogamous folks don’t have to grapple with quite as much. Time Management For one thing, it isn’t as though non-monogamous people are suddenly granted more hours in a day, more days in the week, etc.
To wit, cheating may fit the criteria of non-monogamy to the extent that there are more than two. We’re managing jobs, friends, family, pets and even kids just like the rest of the world. Right away that necessitates a lot more planning than monogamous folk have to worry about.