But, the minute we think of ourselves we feel weak… To the girl who wrote the pots, no, it doesn’t make it impossible. Your relationship will be tested more than the norm and you may have days where you feel like you’re not good enough. You deserved to be loved just as much as anybody else. It’s so easy to push someone away when you’re in pain and frightened. When you have to be strong on you’re own and get used to it it’s then very easy to push someone away when they try to help you.
we don’t look in the mirror and see fight but instead see our pale skin or bruises from injections and blood tests. If you’ve been let down or disappointed in the past, you’re much more likely to doubt someone in the future which can automatically put you into ”I got this without you” mode.
Eventually (after lots of tears, ice creams and hugs from Mum) this made me stronger and allowed me to grow.
A few nights ago I was scrolling through the Crohns and Colitis UK forum and saw a post from a girl who was probably around my age saying: ”Does anyone else feel like IBD makes dating impossible? I am lucky enough to be in a happy relationship and have someone who understands and supports my illness but equally I’ve been with people who fobbed me off as so as it got hard.
I didn’t realise until recently how much my illness had affected me in this area.
A few months ago I went out with a friend for food and a film and it was then that it hit me, in that initial stage, that I didn’t know when I was supposed to talk about my health.
There were times where I was made to feel guilty about not being the fun party girl I had been previously and times where I was told I wasn’t as attractive anymore as if it was my fault that I was poorly.
I look at my friends with Crohns and see strength, beauty and kick ass I’ve got this attitude. We don’t see the good in ourselves, we are prone to doubting ourselves, especially when we have what we portray as extra reason to do so.
In fact, I put off getting to know the person I’m with now for a couple of years because I honestly thought that he’d think less of me or find me unattractive if he saw me at my weakest.
Dating is a pretty standard part of life and something most people will go through at some point or another.
With gaining a diagnosis I lost a lot of friends and even became distant form some family members as my struggles highlighted those who were loyal to me even when they gained nothing from it.
I had panic attacks quite frequently in the two years after I was diagnosed but they’ve slowly settled as I have learned and accept the way my body works (or doesn’t).
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