Downside of dating a beauty
Not to mention that people get away with so much more when they’re attractive.”And that’s not just true of relationships; it's true of life in general.
It’s a widely documented psychological phenomenon that good-looking people are perceived by others as being better people overall—as being nicer, more intelligent, better at their jobs, and yes, better to date. Hamermesh, author of , there are also many economic benefits to looking good, from higher wages at work to getting better deals on loans.
I hated myself for having such superficial impulses, but I couldn’t help it: I want to be able to show my partners off to the world for both what they do how they look. In the past, when a friend has introduced me to a new partner who’s superhot, but clearly an idiot, I’ve judged them for it.
On the other hand, whenever a girlfriend of mine starts dating a middling, out-of-shape guy, all I can think is: This isn’t feminism.
But according to Millie, all of this unearned praise and attention can present problems in relationships.
“When you’re a model, or just extremely good-looking, people are constantly telling you that you’re beautiful, but those people usually want something from you,” she told me.
But, as un-shallow as I have congratulated myself for being on many occasions, I will admit that there have been times when someone’s looks overwhelmed any need for a deeper compatibility.
Case in point: A couple years ago, I dated a writer whose work I really admired—he was kind and intelligent, we got along wonderfully, and the sex was good, too.
“It just so happened that, about five or six years ago, what was fashionable in terms of male models were thin, tattooed punk boys who looked like they’d just been plucked from a skate park, and It’s true: It’s human nature to want to kiss and touch and penetrate beautiful people.While some people clearly feel proud to have a hottie on their arm, others are more comfortable having the upper hand in the beauty department.If you’ve ever had someone look at you during sex with this completely euphoric expression, like, “I ,” you understand that “dating down” in terms of attractiveness can be a confidence boost in its own right.Or, more simply, have we just realized that dating freakishly beautiful people isn’t all it's cracked up to be?A female friend once told me, “It’s always best to date attractive men, but not attractive that everyone’s constantly trying to jump on their dick, because that’s just stressful.” The sentiment actually made a lot of sense to me.